It's Official

The last, of what I have for years considered friends, have exited my life.

Were it not for "The One", there would be no one.

It seems they've all moved one. Must be my time to do the same.

I don't know which is worse

lone·ly Pronunciation Key -
Show Spelled Pronunciation[lohn-lee]
Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –
adjective, -li·er, -li·est.
1. affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.
2. destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship, intercourse, support, etc.: a lonely exile. 3. lone; solitary; without company; companionless.
4. remote from places of human habitation; desolate; unfrequented; bleak: a lonely road.
5. standing apart; isolated: a lonely tower.


a·lone Pronunciation Key -
Show Spelled Pronunciation[uh-lohn]
Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –adjective (used predicatively)
1. separate, apart, or isolated from others: I want to be alone.
2. to the exclusion of all others or all else: One cannot live by bread alone.
3. unique; unequaled; unexcelled: He is alone among his peers in devotion to duty. –adverb
4. solitarily; solely: She prefers to live alone.
5. only; exclusively.

Question

Can there be intimacy without sex?

I visited your site today, read some of the things you wrote, noticed some changes. Sorry, but it was bound to happen and I understand. Hope things get better.

A Day or So Ago I Woke Up...

...and realized that what I have now, just me, my kids and one very dear friend I would hate to lose, is probably all I'm ever going to have.....and I'm not too sure, sometimes, how long that friendship will last. She has a life, I don't, and I sure don't want to get in the way of that. It just wouldn't be fair.

I guess the sooner I accept things, the better. Doesn't feel especially good, but I think my new reality is just being alone.

Would I like to have more? Sure, who wouldn't. But I just don't see that happening.

I'm not especially good at meeting new people. Has to do with an inferiority complex that goes back decades. I'm basically insecure, not that attractive and on and on and on.

I cry, sometimes, at night, after the kids have gone to bed because I'm just so damn lonely.

It's depressing and for that, I'm seeking outside help.

I hope it helps. What I don't need is to fall into a permanent depressive state. I have kids to care for.

Word of the Day

maudlin \MAWD-lin\, adjective:
Tearfully or excessively sentimental.

Things I want that I know I can't have. Things I can have but know that can't and shouldn't.

I'm having one of those days.

Friendship

Friendship is as elusive as a dream.
As tangible as fog.
Those that felt a need to be here, are gone...replaced by those that want to be.
Where's the sincerity?
Where's the love?
Where's the trust?
Only the clock knows.
Time tells all.......