A post, a comment, a counter comment.
Got me to thinking - what, really, is love?
Webster says:
Love - [luhv] - noun, verb, loved, lov·ing. –noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7. sexual intercourse; copulation.
8. (initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12. the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13. Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
14. a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.
–verb (used with object)
15. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
16. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
17. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
18. to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
19. to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
20. to have sexual intercourse with.
–verb (used without object)
21. to have love or affection for another person; be in love.
—Verb phrase
22. love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance she gets.
—Idioms
23. for love,
a. out of affection or liking; for pleasure.
b. without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of the poor for love.
24. for the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For the love of mercy, stop that noise.
25. in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.
26. in love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work.
27. make love,
a. to embrace and kiss as lovers.
b. to engage in sexual activity.
28. no love lost, dislike; animosity: There was no love lost between the two brothers.
—Synonyms 1. tenderness, fondness, predilection, warmth, passion, adoration. 1, 2. Love, affection, devotion all mean a deep and enduring emotional regard, usually for another person. Love may apply to various kinds of regard: the charity of the Creator, reverent adoration toward God or toward a person, the relation of parent and child, the regard of friends for each other, romantic feelings for another person, etc. Affection is a fondness for others that is enduring and tender, but calm. Devotion is an intense love and steadfast, enduring loyalty to a person; it may also imply consecration to a cause. 2. liking, inclination, regard, friendliness. 15. like. 16. adore, adulate, worship.
So, obviously, it can mean many things to many people. How you interpret it based solely on your point of reference. And the point of reference of the person saying it.
"You" kind easily find your point of reference. If you can't, we need to talk.
39 comments:
I'll go for 1-7. With number 7 being my favorite.
There are a few that are applicable.
Mostly this
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
But also? Geronimo
I think the order is wrong.
I think 2 leads to 1 leads to 3.
But you're right.
What if where I lie on the list and where you lie on the list aren't the same place?
Experience - Gained through exploring different aspects of a relationship and trying to find the common point.
Caring - Caring enough to be flexible and realizing that no relationship, no matter how new or how old, is going to be perfect. One or both must give a little.
Willingness to try. Love, like so many other things it seems, is complicated.
Yes. It is complicated. But if two people think it is worth the effort, and it must be both people, equally, then it should be pursued.
Trying, and it not working, is not nearly as bad as not trying at all and possibly missing something very important. This is also part of gaining experience.
Experience about yourself and experience about others.
Each must be willing to learn as much about themselves as they are the other person.
In many cases, we learn more things about ourselves than we ever knew before. And for some, this can be a difficult process.
Worth the effort, but from different ground. To different ends.
Who else stands to get hurt in the process?
We do learn a great deal about ourselves while we learn about the other person. What if I ask for something you can't give?
Yes from different ground and different live experiences, different frames of reference.
Ahhh, determining the end. Yes, that's one of the most difficult parts and the part that should take the most time. And quite often, then end result is not where they thought they were going.
If approached properly and if the two people really take the time to learn as much about themselves as well as each other, no one stands to get hurt. The hurt usually only happens when one, or both, refuses to compromise a little at each step in the relationship. And there will be compromise. No two people start out being absolutely perfect for each other. Even, according to the Bible, Adam and Eve had problems.
But it all still comes down to experience and caring.
One will ask for something that the other can't easily give and someone has care enough to make the sacrifice and compromise. It can't be any other way.
And through the caring and compromise, we gain experience about ourselves.
This person needs that.
"ok. I really care about this person. I can give that and give up this in return."
Experienced gained.
Caring demonstrated.
Has to work both ways.
So how do we determine the end? What do we do if our ends aren't the same place? Compromise. . . caring. . . experience. They are realistic. But if I want to go to the moon and you want to go to the movies, where do we go?
The end has to be determined at the end. They can express desires, dreams, hopes and expectations.
And through the entire process, the end will become obvious. The end cannot be dictated up front.
And the obvious answer would be to go to the moon and then a movie about the moon. Or just the opposite. Caring...compromise.
It's all really fairly simple once the caring part has been demonstrated. And that, sometimes, can be difficult to establish unless one of the two starts the process in an uncompromising manner without the expectation of something in return.
For example. One says, for no apparent reason, "I don't like *this* activity."
The other simple stops whatever that is. No comment, no explanation. Stopped.
Someone always has to go first. And from there, everything else starts.
"A bird may love a fish, sir, but where would they live?"
Yet I wonder, where does your heart live?
Ah, the bird and the fish. A paradox that man has been struggling with since the beginning of time. What if the bird loves the fish. Fortunately, there are many birds that are as much at home in the water as in the air.
It is the ultimate expression of love because one has to give up much and the other can't give up anything.
A true test of love and devotion.
But not fair. The fish has nothing to give back. It cannot share it's life, it's world, it's breath.
And I'd like to point out, the birds that are at home in the water usually eat fish.
Poly: You are delving deep into things. I like that. It shows you are willing to grow beyond your boundaries. Good.
Love is not and never will be fair.
It is all about caring and experience and, something I may have left out, compromise.
It is true. The fish has nothing to give back but love. The bird must accept that, if the bird truly loves the fish. It can't be any other way.
Ah, you've uncovered another concept I may have over looked - you do test me, good.
Sacrifice. This may actually be more important than all the rest. For true love to flourish, one must make sacrifices. Often they are painful, not always reasonable and often not understood.
In order for one to give something to another, the first may often have to sacrifice something that is of extreme value. And your example is perfect. The bird must no longer eat the fish.
Where does my heart live?
It is now personal and no longer intellectual. Okay.
This goes to depths I haven't really explored. Let's see where this takes us.
My heart lives basically in 2 places. It is often said that I wear it on my sleeve. I don't know if that's true, but it has been said.
My heart also lives in the place that makes me the happiest and makes me feel the most alive. This is ever changing.
It could be a quiet dinner with a friend.
It could be 60 feet beneath the ocean exploring coral outcroppings.
It could be watching a movie.
It could be almost anywhere.
It is ever changing but it is almost always rooted in family.
But then that begins another path. Family. What is family?
Since this is personal, rather than philosophical, family are those that do not share my dwellings day-to-day but that are allowed to enter my surroundings unconditionally whenever the mood strikes them. No expectations, no conditions and no preconceived notions. They may come and go as they wish, or not.
Almost all of those in that "inner circle" that I allow to do this have keys to my front door, 'keys' to my life, 'keys' to the inner working of this humble establishment and do not ever need a special invitation, but rather have an open ended invitation.
They are here, they are not here, as they wish. They are my family and I cherish their existence.
That, is where my heart lives.
Yes, I delve and possibly where I shouldn't. None the less, we got personal.
My definition of family is growing.
As you should. For to delve into personal issues is to establish many things; most importantly trust, acceptance and boundaries. Were you not trusted or accepted, nothing would have been divulged, the boundaries would have limited. At this point, there may not be any boundaries and many paths have been opened.
Never fear to go to new places, explore new paths of knowledge. You will never know where it leads and to not take the fork in the road is to limit possibilities. No relationship, however it's defined, can mature without trust.
Ask, question, explore. Take the road. Enjoy the ride, live in the moment. Do not be afraid. What was, is past. Learn from it but don't live in it. What could be has yet to be defined. Take the road.
Trust takes times. It has it's own path and carries it's own burdens.
There's a lot to learn, as we're both finding. We might not like stops there are. Never afraid to explore others, but exploring myself is often more frightening.
Not living in the past. . . now there's a challenge. I've been trying for years.
Trust is a building process and grows slowly. And there has to be a certain level of trust on both sides. It is a burden, but it must be accepted. To deny it, is to deny every possibility.
There has to be a certain willingness to take the next step and see where it leads, to learn, to grow, to no longer be afraid of what was but to embrace what could be.
The past, as I have learned, should not be all consuming. If so, it can be destructive and can easily destroy what could be.
Explore, stop, go back, take a different path. Do not limit what could be based on what has been.
To do so is to deny your future.
Trust is the basis for many things, but it is still a process on it's own. With time, it will come.
I still think you want to take steps I do not. But we do what we must, and will see where it goes.
All consuming, no. A teacher, yes. If we don't learn from our past, we will keep hurting ourselves.
We're both exploring new ground. It's a fun trip we're taking.
Trust does take time and therein lies part of your confusion, because your trust is still developing. It is a fun trip, but for it to go where you think "I" want it to go, would be disastrous for both of us. You know it's true, I know it's true.
We're following two paths, simultaneously. One leads to friendship, lasting, trusting friendship. The is the path that "we" follow.
Additionally, we are each following our own distinctive path that could lead to a different conclusion. One just as trusting and lasting, but more intimate in nature.
I think we would be foolish to follow that path together, for reasons that are obvious.
The path we are on is the right one. We're both very happy on it, and, dare I say happier than either of us has been in a while? We've both earned it.
We are speeding up the process, but it's definately going as it should. The trust is there.
Yes, the happiness is, indeed, very pleasant and comforting. We have managed to stumble on something special that not many find. I don't want to lose that by forcing things in the wrong direction.
I think the process is guiding us in the direction best suited for our situation.
The trust. Yes it's there and I am pleased.
Now that we're all warm and fuzzy. . .what will we talk about?
Everything and anything. We are there.
It seems to be a good place to be.
I miss talking with you. It's been a busy week.
So did I.
Busy you say? I think the activities of the week go way beyond busy. Hopefully things will get back to some semblance of normalcy, soon.
Haven't you learned, there is no normal. Espically with this crowd.
So true. And the "boss" returns Monday.
Thought I was the boss ;)
Or am I just the muse?
Talk to me Swampy.
I will speak of reality, depression and despair. But not now. It's just too painful and the messages are not clear. I need to think......
Ok. Know that I'm here.
I know you are. Big part of what's keeping me going.
Hopefully, you know there are many reasons to keep going, and they all care about you.
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